How to Heal the Heart Chakra

Heart Chakra Healing

Over the past year during group reiki sessions I have identified that the collective is in need of intense heart chakra healing. There is wounding in this energy center.

I have been intuitively guided to explore this topic on a deeper level because it is clear that the world is thirsty for love. Love is the vessel through which we are able to augment our consciousness, perceive ourselves in a new light and deeply relate to others.

The heart is the fourth chakra in the etheric body. It is associated with love, intimacy, social identity and relationships. While the health of the other chakras is certainly important, the vitality of the heart is paramount because love is the most powerful healer.

When the heart center is healthy we embody qualities such as: compassion, empathy, love,  altruism and balance. We also possess self-love and a strong immune system.

When it’s underactive there is a tendency towards bitterness, unwillingness to forgive, loneliness, narcissism, depression, antisocial behavior, judgment and fear of intimacy. We shut people out in order to avoid being hurt again.

When it’s overactive, there is an inclination towards: jealousy, using love as a drug, smothering, clinginess, codependence, need for validation, possessiveness and poor boundaries. We smother others’ with our love out of fear that they might abandon us or because we unconsciously use them as a surrogate to satisfy our own denied needs.

It’s perfectly natural to swing between these two polarities and express some of the traits from both categories while you are on your journey towards healing.

Heart chakra imbalance can also manifest itself physically. Associated symptoms may include: heart problems, poor circulation, asthma, shoulder tension, immune deficiency, chest pain as well as lung, breast and arm problems.

So how does the heart become wounded in the first place?

And why is this issue so prevalent?

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Anodea Judith, author of Eastern Body Western Mind, believes that the world’s heart chakra imbalance is largely due to the loss of the Mother archetype. Many of the children in today’s generation grew up in broken homes and this familial separation has manifested itself in the rifts that can be observed in the world at large. Our society is divided as evidenced by the increased polarization in political party, race, gender, class, etc. She even goes as far as to say that we have “fallen out of love with the world” and that his has resulted in behavioral changes such as isolation, defensiveness, alienation and selfishness. We have forgotten how to relate to one another because we are disconnected from our own hearts. This is unfortunate because the way we connect to one another is through the art of relating.

Love is the great expander. It widens our consciousness and establishes the connection between body, mind and soul. It is the intersection between the magical and the mundane. Love allows us to tap into the divine or source energy within us. It is also the greatest mirror of all, a direct portal to the shadow. Within us all we have divine feminine and divine masculine energy. Jung referred to this as the anima and the animus. When the heart chakra is vibrant and healthy these two forces are balanced. The reality is that most of us still have some work to do and therefore our unconscious shadow materials often play out on the stage of our relationships.

The Shadow in Relationships

Oftentimes when we first enter into a relationship we see the other person through rose-colored glasses. There is an idealization that occurs, in which we view them as nearly perfect. What we are actually doing is projecting our own inner divinity onto our partner. If we don’t make an effort to see them for who they really are instead of being blinded by our own projection, the relationship will suffer and may not even last. According to Robert A. Johnson, love based on reality rather than divinity while less exciting, is far more stable and fulfilling in the long run. 

Another example of shadow manifesting in relationships is a woman who is a type-A workaholic and puts her career first. She may have unconsciously chosen a partner to carry her feminine (anima) because her masculine (animus) is over-expressed. When she approaches her mid-life crisis she may find that what she initially found attractive in her husband- his sensitive (feminine) nature, is now a quality she holds in contempt. This is a strong indication that the anima or animus has been projected onto the partner.

Striking a Balance

We engage in shadow work by examining our behaviors, motives dreams and fears in a self-reflective way, free of judgment. The goal is to contemplate these parts of ourselves, find the relationship between them and try to piece them together in order to achieve a sense of wholeness. Essentially, balancing our inner masculine and feminine energies. There is also a balance to be struck between honoring our soul’s desire for attachment with our spirit’s desire for freedom.

I believe that love is the most powerful healer of all. Consequently, any impairment in our capacity to give and receive love is an acute wound indeed. If you think about how this is magnified by all the people with similar wounds operating in the world and how we treat one another it is a serious issue. This is why heart chakra healing is so important. Having compassion for others is one way to mend this suffering. What many do not realize is that 90% of the time, compassion doesn’t translate to offering a solution to someone’s problems or fixing things for them. Compassion means being understanding and contributing empathy. Sometimes relationships run into trouble when one person wants a listening ear, but the other thinks they are expected to fix the problem. At the end of the day we want someone to empathize with what we are going through. We are all connected.

How Childhood Shapes the Heart Chakra

Another realm that affects the heart chakra is our social identity. When we are children our parents or caregivers play a large part in shaping behavior. The behaviors that children see at home are internalized and then replicated within their own relationships. For example, if Johnny saw Dad push Mom around then he may embody the Bully archetype and push around his vulnerable classmates. Another way social conditioning can occur is when a child benefits from a certain behavior. For example, Mom largely ignores Johnny except when he breaks the rules. Johnny likes the attention that he receives from Mom when he breaks the rules so he adopts the Rebel archetype which may become an enduring role.

Behaviors are not the only things we absorb from our caregivers as children, we often internalize their values and attitudes towards us too. Our relationship with our Mother for example colors the way we see the Divine Feminine and our idea of the Mother archetype. If the relationship with our Mother was not a positive and loving one there is a tendency to project this impairment onto our other relationships. The number one reason most people withhold love and close their hearts is due to fear of rejection. As children, to be rejected is a kind of death. If we still identify with the caregiver who rejected us then we will mirror their behavior and reject ourselves. Again, the antidote to this is to identify the various parts of ourselves and integrate them to become whole. In doing so we are able to open our hearts to relating to others.

How to Heal the Heart Chakra

1. Inner Family Exercise– Make a list of the various parts of yourself or your personality. You can also think of them as your personal archetypes. Some examples include Lover, Achiever, Wounded Child, Inner Critic, Mother, etc. Write down words that describe them as well as what they ultimately want. Then tease out any relationships you can identify between these various inner characters. By acknowledging and integrating the many aspects of ourselves our self-knowledge grows and we are able to move towards greater wholeness.
Example: The Achiever- determined, ambitious, driven; wants to succeed, make a mark on the world, gain recognition and earn lots of money.
Relationships: My Inner Critic suppresses the progress of the Achiever and diminishes her energy. I can call on the Coach or Mother archetype to thwart the upper limiting attempts of my Inner Critic.

2. Open the Heart to Feeling– According to Anodea Judith, “feelings are the antennae of the soul”(275). If you don’t allow yourself to open up to your feelings you will cut off vital life force energy to the heart. By allowing emotions to flow naturally we can finally release less-than-pleasant feeling states such as anger and grief. Next time you have the urge to avoid an emotion, choose to accept it instead and let it in like an invited guest. Allow it to stay for as long as it needs. While this may sound counterintuitive, it is remarkably therapeutic in today’s day and age where we often use tv, social media, work and other general busy-ness to distract and numb ourselves from feeling.

3. Breathwork– Breathwork is a gateway to the heart, a channel through which we can access stored feelings in the energy body. Make the conscious decision to become more aware of the way you breathe on an everyday basis. Perhaps certain activities like painting or shamanic journeying cause your normal breathing pattern to become temporarily altered. Or maybe you notice that you hold your breath when your mind dwells on certain thoughts or during certain yoga poses. Many people breathe in a very shallow manner without even realizing it. Allow your breathing to become deep, steady and expansive; you may discover that your qi, or life force energy, expands in kind. If any dormant feelings arise, acknowledge them and be gentle with yourself. You may also want to explore different types of breathwork if you feel so called such as pranayama, ujjayi or my favorite, heart-womb breathing.

4. Grief therapy– If your heart chakra is carrying grief, you may consider seeking the support of a therapist for some deeper healing. Take time to examine what role the person you lost played in your life and how you can fill in that missing part on your own or regain it.

5. Forgiveness– Forgiveness is the ultimate gesture of healing. It is a form of heart cleansing that allows us to open more fully to receiving love. In Kathrin Zenkina’s book, Unleash Your Inner Money Babe, she asks readers to participate in a forgiveness exercise. The directive is to write down at least 50 ways you have been wronged by others (and yourself). Next, you go down the list and recite the Hawaiian prayer of Ho’oponopono for each entry, “I love you, thank you, I forgive you, I’m sorry.” Doing this with a sincere heart and a willingness to forgive is wildly cathartic. And in the future, when someone wrongs you, even if it’s Joe Schmo who cuts you off in traffic, immediately recite the prayer. In doing so you are clearing your aura of blame and other toxic energy that brings you pain. As a result your heart will become open to the flow of love and abundance one more, the gifts that are your birthright.

6. EFT Tapping– EFT Tapping is a technique in which you use your hands to tap on various energy points or pathways in the body in order to release stored emotions. When we experience trauma or negatively-charged memories, the painful emotions that accompany them are often held the body. Modern science is just beginning to acknowledge the mind body connection. Many times illnesses or other physical ailments are merely symptoms of underlying emotional anguish. Tapping is a therapeutic method that addresses the need for both physical and emotional purification, recognizing that they are equally important for a person’s health and well being. So how do you engage in EFT? Start by focusing on a troublesome thought, memory, problem or emotion that distresses you and allow yourself to feel it in your body. Then use your fingers to tap 5 times on each of the body’s meridians while reciting an affirmation: Even though I _______ (example: have anxiety, am self-conscious about my stomach, feel angry, dislike my job, etc.) I completely love and accept myself. Since I learn best through doing and you might too, here is a video tutorial to help demonstrate this.

In order to heal our hearts we must first learn to love and behold ourselves. When we love ourselves, we experience inner unification and erosion of the ego. We accomplish integration of the self. We become the essence of love, of Oneness. We begin to see our connection to everyone and everything. Our energy flows freely, beyond ourselves. We perpetuate love and goodness in the world and receive it in equal measure.

Sources:

Darling, Gala. “EFT.” Gala Darling, 27 June 2007, galadarling.com/article/eft/.

Johnson, Robert A. Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche. HarperOne, 1993.

Judith, Anodea. Eastern Body, Western Mind Psychology and the Chakra System as a Path to the Self. Alchemy, 2006.

Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: the Seven Stages of Power and Healing. Harmony Books, 2017.

“What Is Tapping And How Can I Start Using It?” The Tapping Solution (EFT): How To Get Started, www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapping/.