Times of Transition
It’s funny how life transitions make you think about the paths not taken. It’s like you’re standing on the threshold of an unopened door. And you can’t help but look over your shoulder at all the other doors you’ve walked through up until this point. You start to play the ‘what if’ game…. What if I’d gone to that other school? What if I’d never dated X? What if I took that job? What if I’d moved to an unfamiliar state or country?
I get goosebumps thinking about how my life might look completely different- how I might be completely different if I’d chosen a different door along the way. Even just one. Sometimes I play with the idea of quantum theory and daydream about the myriad alternate versions of me in parallel universes. I wonder what they might be up to.
And now we are approaching that peculiar crossroads where fate and free will intersect. It’s almost impossible to tease them apart. Where does one end and the other begin? Perhaps it’s a mix of both. Psychologist Mark Thurston says, “Destiny implies your soul made choices in the distant past- or maybe just before your birth- and those choices make it very likely that certain people and events will come into your life.” However, it’s up to us, exercising our free will, to decide how we would like to move forward. You have the freedom to choose your attitude, how you react and what you will make out of these opportunities.
The liminal states of life can be scary because they’re all about venturing off into the unknown. You are teetering on the precarious tightrope between the worlds, alternating between bittersweet nostalgia and the effervescent anticipation of what’s to come. Something in you is dying so that you can be reborn. It reminds me of a line from the phenomenal movie Where the Crawdads Sing that stopped me in my tracks- “The only thing certain in nature is change.” There is something comforting in that sentiment. It’s a helpful reminder that change is the natural order of things, no matter how unsettling it feels to us humans.
I think one of the keys to navigating thresholds with grace is surrendering to change and embracing the now. Letting go of expectations and the habitual patterns surrounding the way things used to be. No longer clinging for dear life to that which is inevitably ephemeral. Instead, choosing to hand things over to a higher power, allowing the Universe to take the lead and trusting in life.
Every transition is a rite of passage, a fresh initiation. So despite the waves of grief that wash over me with decreasing frequency, I am doing my best to savor the tenderness to be found in this ‘pregnant pause’ as Luna Garzón so eloquently puts it. It’s challenging to summon enthusiasm about what’s to come when your heart still aches for what you’ve lost. But nevertheless, I look forward to watching what bursts forth from the void as I take the first few (hesitant) over the precipice and into this new chapter of my life.
