For many of us, the first half of life is dictated by the ego and the commitment to the heroic will. We are spurred on by the quest for what society tells us we should value- wealth, fame, marriage, status and external success. And yet, even when one succeeds in obtaining this holy grail of an allegedly ‘meaningful’ life, happiness often remains elusive. In aspiring towards material trappings, one neglects the development of the Self and fails to expand their spiritual horizons.
“When we have abdicated our own personal value system on behalf of the very powerful expectations of our society then we will have in some way colluded with our own diminishment.” -James Hollis
The ego is under the illusion that it’s in charge, that it’s responsible for creating our life. But when it encounters an old pattern, its plans for us hit a snag. Ironically, this breakdown provides us with an opportunity to learn something we didn’t know about ourselves.
Despite what we may think, it is the psyche that always knows what we need. And when it calls to us and we ignore it, it will try to get our attention in some other way- through addiction, health complaints, a mood disorder or unsettling dreams.
Service to one’s vocation or calling is not narcissistic or self-absorbed. It actually represents a surrender to a summons that transcends the ego’s understandable desire to feel safe and comfortable. It’s about aligning with a value that’s higher than the ego’s values.
In marching to the beat of your own drummer, more often than not, you may step out of pace with others. And this can lead to anxiety, it may elicit the judgment and disapproval of others, it can even create feelings of guilt within us. But this is rewarded, or compensated for, by answering the summons of the Self and bringing that back to society. The highest way to serve society is becoming ourselves.
The commitment to authenticity is not necessarily synonymous with being normal or happy. It simply means that we’ve become ourselves- more individual, more eccentric, more whole. By becoming ourselves we add to the collective by expanding the field of possibilities and contributing to its potentiality.
The psyche is purposeful- it’s the one that’s actually in charge- no matter how unconscious. It’s not just beholden to instinctual appetites. It has a vital, unfolding vision and it’s seeking wholeness. From the very beginning there is some higher order (some may say destiny) involved in the developmental process of a person- as if some transcendent force is wanting to live through us all the time. It’s an energy that has little concern for the ego’s desires or of society’s values, but exists all the same. Perhaps our task is to get out of the way and let it happen. Allow the Self to do its Selfing.
The Self has its own intentions and agenda which are frequently distressing to the ego’s security needs. However, allowing the Self to guide the way is how we develop a more integrated and complete personality. Holding onto the illuminating light of consciousness allows the ego to better contain the tension of opposites and makes it possible for us to create a meaningful life.
Sources:
Hollis, James. Creating a Life. Oregon Friends of C.G. Jung, 7 Dec. 2001, ofj.org/library/creating-a-life-4, disc MFJ-058125. Accessed 21 June 2022. Digital Recording MP3.
