One quality that I greatly admire in others is an attitude of not knowing. This is something that really struck me about Philip Pullman when I was reading his book of personal essays and transcripts, Daemon Voices. Despite being a best-selling author, he does not hold himself in high-esteem as some omnipotent authority.
Instead, the word he chooses to describe himself is diffident, which is defined as modest or shy because of a lack of self confidence. However, reading between the lines here, I think a more accurate term would be humble. It is incredibly refreshing to come across individuals who admit that they don’t have all the answers.
I’ll admit that for a long time, especially in high school, I prided myself on my intellect. As someone who was socially awkward and bullied, it was one of the things about myself that I could feel good about. I think at a certain point though, it became a crutch. Hell, it could have been the reason I was bullied in the first place. Maybe they wanted to knock me down a peg.
I was aloof and perhaps was perceived as being haughty. I armed myself with knowledge the way other girls armed themselves with Juicy Couture and eyeliner. It made me feel powerful. I related strongly with Hermione from Harry Potter. I was not exactly an insufferable know-it-all, but I took great satisfaction in being right.
That’s one of the sneaky ways the ego likes to manipulate us. To whisper that we know everything, that we are an authority on the subject, that we know better than they do. But the older I get, the more I realize there is still so much I don’t know. Yes, I have a fair amount of knowledge concerning astrology, animals, nutrition, healing, etc. However, I am far from expert status on any of those subjects.
And a few years ago, I would have deluded myself into thinking otherwise. There seems to be a tendency as of late to claim to be an expert in something despite insufficient education or training. But you know what? It is okay to not have all the answers. It is okay to not know everything. It is real and it is human.
We are all learning as we go. That is why I truly applaud those who have adopted an attitude of not knowing. They admit when they don’t have the answer. They don’t pretend to possess knowledge about underwater basket weaving, for instance, just to save face.
An open mind is receptive to expansion. What a disservice you do yourself and others if your mind is closed off, operating under the assumption that there is nothing more for you to learn. A not knowing attitude is about holding curiosity about the world around you and peering at it through a child’s eyes.
It’s about acknowledging that there is always something new to understand. This even applies to foundational information that we think we already know. Maybe by twisting your lens slightly you can view the same old story from a different perspective. As adults we often become desensitized to life’s many wonders, lost in the jungle of the minutiae.
How amazing is it that we are capable of creating other humans?
How exciting that we can fly in a metal bird from one country to another in less than a day!
I may be a reiki master, but I doubt I am any closer to unlocking the secrets of the universe than the next person. How beautiful that we are all on this journey of growth together.
